“Reign On Me” is a body of work inspired by a recurring lyric from The Who, off their Quadrophenia record (1973), which repeatedly asks, "Do you know the real me?”Most people don't want to know who we really are as a person, and that can be a very lonely existence.
For many years, I prayed for love to reign over me. Alongside those prayers, I started to examine the inner workings of my mind, my soul, and any moments of connection with God I could find. The pieces in this show were created over the course of a year, as a surprising new relationship was unfolding with a woman special to me. Through these illustrations and mixed-media pieces, I documented the highs and lows of this intense love and found the emotional range within the relationship to be very satisfying. Even though my life had been lacking in that way before, I feel so grateful for the experience.
“Reign On Me,” as an exhibition, is a departure from my previous shows where I had dwelled on the depression and was working on my mental health. Those things continue to be important to me, but artistically it has been time to move on. I wanted to get out of the thinking aspects of mental health and get into the practice of real life. For me, it was actually taking that risk of entering into a personal relationship again, and letting myself be vulnerable, that allowed me to feel the positive effects of love.
It wasn’t planned. It's just something that evolved.
It was a feeling – which included both chaos and calm.
Internally, the chaos occurred when I wasn’t able to talk to her, and my imagination was running wild. Once I did talk to her, the calm came in. That feeling of calm and love with her is represented by the daisy. It’s reassurance that someone has a real concern for me. Others professed it, but it never panned out.
Whether it’s exclusive or not, relationships are like social contracts around agreeing to genuinely care for each other, no matter how the arrangement is defined. This person and I share stories of neglect – not just in relationships, but also in our family histories. We know that when emotions around neglect are left unresolved, feelings of worthlessness can creep in. But when we try out moments of micro change in our thinking patterns and behaviors – even something as simple as how we choose to touch each other – has had a profound impact on both our states of mind. Prior to meeting her, it had been ten years since I had even hugged anyone meaningfully.
The phrase “reign on me” was from Quadrophenia, which is a word that means one person with four personalities. It’s one of my favorite records by The Who, which was also made into a movie about someone stuck in the rain, contemplating life and doubting his self-worth after becoming disillusioned by his parents' attitude towards him and a general feeling that everything in his life has rejected him.
Until one day love reigned.
